I’m breaking up with breakfast

The idea of breakfast is like a romance. There are strawberries, chocolate, waffles, capucchinos, muffins, and lazy mornings, but are there really? With all of the snow days that I have been having, yes, lazy mornings and waffles have been a reality for me. But in my day-to-day life, breakfast is just a fantasy.

When I was little I ate two Eggo waffles with Log Cabin syrup every day. Then I switched to Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Then I had Cocoa Krispies. Then Pop-Tarts. More recently, a ham and cheese breakfast sandwich or honey and cheese on toast. So I feel like I’ve been sold short; where are my chocolate chip pancakes and sunshine every day? Still in bed; I can only have them if I get up extra early. Let’s be honest, sleep definitely trumps a fancy breakfast.

So this is it. Breakfast, we’ve had some great times. Some wonderful brunches, beautiful crispy waffles, butter and jam on toast, and espresso, but I’m sick of your empty promises. I’ve been seeing something else: my pillow. My pillow doesn’t make me work hard to be happy; my pillow understands me. I hope we can still be friends, and see each other a weekend or two. But I want you to know that you’ll always be part of my life and I’ll always love you. Goodbye for now.

I put doughnut frosting on a cake and this is what happened

Why hello there! Long time, no talk! This blizzard-ing in the north east has really hit me hard; first with a cold, then a mother broken and displaced arm in need of surgery. So even though I have been dying to bake up a storm in this blizzard, it hasn’t really been a reality. Cut to last week, when it was a friend’s birthday…. *twinkly futuristic transition sound*

A friend of mine does not really like dessert, but was having a birthday. You’re probably wondering why I have a friend who doesn’t like dessert, well so am I. After much contemplation, I decided to make her a strawberry shortcake because you can’t go wrong with some whipped cream and berries. I found a good recipe in my handy-dandy Illustrated Cookbook, and pre-baked the cake. This was Sunday night.

Then Monday came with the blizzard Juno, and of course the party was canceled. So then I was sitting in my house for three days with a cake that was un-frosted that I wasn’t supposed to eat. Can you guess what happens next? Yup. I frosted the cake for me and my sister to eat, because why not? The party was indefinitely canceled because of sickness and stuff.

So I went back to my handy-dandy cookbook in search of a chocolate frosting recipe (I ditched the “healthy” strawberry shortcake notion”). I found a “Fudge-y Chocolate Frosting” recipe that seemed super easy, so I whipped it up (and of course burned a finger). It came out great and delicious, so I leveled my cake and started slathering it on. The frosting went on fine in the middle for the filling, and I put the second layer on. Then something weird happened.

The frosting would not spread on my cake! Like just would pull up the crumbs of the cake in this weird peeling maneuver. So I piled on more frosting to combat it, which worked, but then it would not stick to the sides! So here I am trying to make a pretty cake for myself, and it ends up looking like a poop cake. Literally though the pieces on the sides looked suspiciously #2-ish.

After I started eating a piece of it anyway, I realized what this frosting reminded me of. Doughnut frosting! There’s an amazing doughnut place near my house that makes the best doughnuts from scratch, and they have a chocolate-frosted doughnut. And that’s what I made, the chocolate frosting that should go on a doughnut. I don’t recommend putting doughnut frosting on a cake, it’s very dry and might look a little like poop.

Chocolate-Dipped Cookie Dough

Cookies come in many forms. Cookies, cookie bars, cookie cakes, cookie dough, and even cookie monsters. But the clear winner for me is cookie dough. Granted there are some health risks in eating it (because of the eggs, so I don’t recommend eating it), but I can’t stop myself. I’m not the only one who is obsessed with this fluffy goodness; you can buy pre-mixed cookie dough ice cream, and probably even cookie dough Chapstick.

But what if I told you that cookie dough itself could stand to be improved? Is it possible? The answer is: yes. If you dip it in chocolate.

I as well as many fellow New England-ers have a sick friend right now; this cold is really killing us. But I am one of the lucky ones, and have decided to be nice and make some comfort food for my sickly sister. Her request: chocolate-dipped chocolate chip cookie dough.

Step 1: Make some cookie dough.

Step 2: Scoop it into balls.

Step 3: Freeze them.

Step 4: Melt your favorite kind of chocolate.

Step 5: Dip frozen cookie dough balls in the melted chocolate.

Step 6: Freeze chocolate covered cookie balls until chocolate sets.

Step 7: Enjoy and notice the difference in your life.

Christmas Gift Trick: Cookie Mugs

You may recognize Christmas as one of the most pleasant seasons of the year (or you may not, no pressure). But sometimes all of the merriment, gift-giving, cookie-baking, and decorating can start to really hurt your wallet. And that’s fine! I mean losing weight is good… right? Well, maybe not from your wallet; but you don’t want to be cheap (that’s not in the Christmas spirit!). It’s the thought that counts, not how much you spend. Yada-yada, I’m not going to get into it; I’m assuming you’ve seen at least one Christmas movie.

So how do you give thoughtful, quality gifts without starving your wallet? Christmas cookies! Okay, here’s what you have to do. Buy one holiday mug per person you want to give a gift too. They don’t have to be expensive, you can find nice ones at less-expensive stores that are perfectly good. Then, make as many cookies as you can in as many kinds as you want. Next, fill the mugs with the cookies! 

It may sound simple, but a pile of cookies will brighten almost anyone’s day, and the mug will last as a gift that will sit in their kitchen for eternity! (I don’t know about you, but I never throw out mugs.) It helps if you can make a festive gingerbread to put on top, but really this one is all about what you can do. (Ignore the ones in the picture, they were festive but also a thank you gift for people.) To make it look more full you can throw in some bite sized candies too, or a hot chocolate mix! Then wrap them up in cellophane with a nice bow, and you have conquered the holiday gifts for your acquaintances, co-workers, and the people-who-you-aren’t-sure-you’re-exchanging-gifts-with-but-have-to-be-prepared-for-just-in-case.

Forgot something? 3 Easy Last-Minute Thanksgiving Dishes

It’s Wednesday night and sleeting where I am; so at this point if I’ve forgotten anything for my Thanksgiving feast, there’s no way I am going to get it. Improving in the kitchen is fun, but it’s always nice to have a backup plan. Here are some backup plan Thanksgiving dishes that you might be able to make with stuff you already have.

Appetizer: Stuffed Crescent Roll-Ups

I don’t know about you, but I always have some extra crescent roll or pie crust dough in my fridge. Last year I didn’t plan enough appetizers, so I improved these roll-ups, and they were a big hit! There are a lot of good ideas of things to do with crescent rolls from Pillsbury, but I made my own creation. I made it as one big roll; roll out all of the crescent dough so it doesn’t have the perforation. Then on 1/4 of it, spread some pesto, layer pepperoni and ham (or other meats you have and want to use), some cheese, cut up roasted red peppers, and spinach. Then roll it up like a log and place on a pan. Cook in your oven using the instructions for the crescent rolls, it may need extra time. When it’s done, take it out and carefully slice it. You’ll have some nice slices packed with flavor, and you don’t have to tell your guests how easy it was to make!

Dessert: Crack or Cookie Pie

I’m not saying you need to turn to hardcore drugs, crack is a kind of chocolate-caramel bark that is as addicting as, well, crack. You can find my detailed instructions of how to make it here, all you need is saltines, butter, chocolate, and sugar!

If you don’t want any addictive desserts or don’t have saltines, you might want to try a chocolate chip cookie pie. An original Nestle Toll House recipe, the ingredients are pretty standard and you should already have most of them. You can always substitute a different kind of nut, and you don’t even need to use a pie crust! Make it in advance and stick it in the oven before you serve it; it’s delicious warm with some ice cream on top.

I hope this saves you from some hungry guests! It’s hard to imagine not having enough food for Thanksgiving, but let me tell you, it’s not something you’ll ever want to experience. I wish you all a wonderful and relaxing Thanksgiving, and a successful Black Friday if you’re into that kind of thing. Happy eating!

You’ll never make regular cookies again after trying chocolate chip cookie bars

I talked a little about What to do with the cookie dough in your fridge last month, but now I’m going to show you! When my brother came to visit I made these for him, and I never got to eat them because they were gone so fast. They’re the next level of chocolate chip cookies; easy to make and doubly delicious. Here’s why you should make them: 1, the bars are rectangle so they’re fit in a glass perfectly for dunking, and 2, they are the optimal combination of crunchy and chewy. Usually when you make regular cookies, you have to choose between a soft-baked cookie or a crispy one. These are amazing because they get nice and crunchy on the outside (they’re pretty dark) but they stay soft-baked on the inside because they’re so thick! Win.

I use the Wilton Ice Cream Sandwich Pan (which is actually supposed to be for brownies or cakes) and the Nestlé Toll House original recipe. Make the cookie dough as usual and lightly grease the pan, preheat the oven to 375 Fahrenheit. Then use an ice cream scoop to plop some dough in each cavity. Take a sheet of wax paper and lightly press the cookie dough into the square mold. Put in the oven for about 20 minutes, rotating in between. Don’t worry if they look burned, they should be pretty dark; that’s a good sign. They should be dark on the outside and they’ll stay soft on the inside; let the pan cool and pop ’em out of the pan!

But if you can’t locate one of those, you can just make plain cookie bars in a square pan (but they won’t be as crispy). Or you can use one of those Perfect Brownie Pans, just be careful not to make the cookies too thick. I’m not gonna lie, I usually just eat them straight up. But they are perfect for dunking in chocolate or making marshmallow or ice cream sandwiches. Cookie bars will impress and delight you without any extra work, what more can you ask for?

Can you taste the quality? How to tell a good bakery from a bad bakery

Because I bake all the time, I can easily spot or taste a bad quality baked good. I also worked at a high-end bakery for years, and know exactly what top notch cupcakes are all about. My town just got a new bakery, and I was too curious not to try out their stuff (plus they have espresso, so there was no way to lose). But when I walked in there, I knew off the bat that the cupcakes were not going to meet my high standards. For those of you who want to determine the quality of a bakery, here are the signs.

The first, refrigerated cases. If there are cupcakes and pastries in a display case that doesn’t have precipitation on it or isn’t making a whirring noise, then you’ve found yourself some Crisco frosting. There are multiple ways of making frosting or pastry creme, but if it doesn’t have to be refrigerated then there’s a high chance that there’s something that’s preserving it, something you don’t necessarily want to eat. That being said, most things should be allowed to sit out for a while to come to room temperature, which is fine. You want to watch out for things that never need to be refrigerated.

The cupcakes that I tried this weekend had a kind of frosting that I am familiar with; it’s made from powdered sugar, butter, milk, and vegetable shortening aka, Crisco. You can tell that you’re eating Crisco frosting if you can hear a light crunching sound when you’re eating it. This frosting is what Wilton recommends to go with their decorated cake pans. It has its purposes, but don’t be wasting $4.00 on a cupcake with this low quality frosting. This is the same for pastries, pastries should always be refrigerated to preserve the cream. You know that there’s something artificial and low-quality going on when it doesn’t need refrigeration.

To tell a good frosting, look for the shine. Buttercream is made from butter, so it should be a little shiny! If it’s made from a lot of sugar and other artificial ingredients, it won’t be reflective at all. It will also be very squishy, and won’t harden even if you refrigerate it. If you refrigerate it and it’s hard and you have to let it sit out to soften, then it’s made from enough butter. Just think how you have to let butter soften for basic baking, it’s the same thing.

Next, the price. This might seem pretty obvious, but if you want top quality unfortunately you’re going to have to pay for it. If you’re getting a sheet cake to serve 40 people for $20, then get ready for your Crisco frosting. On the other end, if you think that you might be paying too much, break it up into servings. Divide the price by the number of people you’re serving. If it seems like something you would spend for a cupcake for each person, then you’re in the clear. Just remember that this won’t count for decorated cakes, that’s a whole other can of worms.

Also, size. This may not be a foolproof method, but I have honestly never had an over-sized cupcake that was good quality. If there’s a bakery that’s selling giant cupcakes, my experiences tell you to expect very dry cake and overly sugary frosting. This is also true if the bakery only carries one size of cake, I just find that practice to be overall strange and I have yet to find such a place that has high quality goods.

Level of richness, and I’m not talking about money. Higher quality goods are going to be richer. The way to tell is by the largest sized slice of cake you can eat. If you cut yourself a huge piece of cake and only manage to eat a portion of it because you’re too full, then it’s very rich and probably good quality. If you’re able to eat a huge slice, then that means it has watered-down ingredients. You get full quickly if you’re eating buttercream made from butter and chocolate ganache made mostly from chocolate; low quality products will use filler like oil and Crisco, which won’t fill you up as fast.

Halloween Petit Fours and Spontaneous Baking

When I got home from work today, there were a couple of things that I was sure of. One, I was hungry; two, Halloween is on Friday; and three, I didn’t want to do my homework. So the clear solution for these three chunks of knowledge was clearly to bake something, but what?

Spontaneous baking is one of the best kinds; there’s no pressure! The only snag is that you may not have all of the important ingredients and you may have to make an emergency trip to the store (as I learned today). Gathered a bunch of my favorite cookbooks and I was actually having some trouble. I was going to make cupcakes, then I was going to make brownies, then I was going to make cake; you see my problem. Too many choices! I decided by accident to make petits fours, because they’re tiny and I could get creative for Halloween.

 

“Petits Fours” is french for “little ovens,” which make sense because these things are normally pretty small. Well I might speak french but I am definitely american, so I made some freaking big petits fours. Why not? Okay so I did make some that were bite-size, but I mostly made the cute shaped ones. It wasn’t as easy as I had planned, but I used cookie cutters as a guide to cut the cake out (the cake is really thin, there are two layers). The recipe that I used came from the Illustrated Cookbook, but I know Martha Stewart has a good recipe for these too. The recipes usually call for jam filling, but I think that combining jam and cake is just not right.

I was going to simply mix some melted chocolate and cocoa powder with marshmallow fluff, but save yourself the trouble and don’t get into that mess! It just turned into a marble-y ball of sugar that got stuck in my whisk; it tasted good though. So after that failure I just decided to make real fluff: meringue! So I fluffed up two egg whites and added some sugar and cocoa powder, it came out exactly how I wanted. For the frosting I kind of just eyeballed in some ingredients, but I’d recommend the Wilton buttercream recipe. Then decorate and enjoy! I made my cake coffee flavored, you can really pick whatever flavor and shapes you want, always a plus.

Something Classic, Easy, Yummy, and Cute

In fifth grade, my class baked cookies to give to people at a nearby nursing home. It was a great day; a bunch of moms volunteered to come in and help us bake cookies during a school day, and of course my mom was one of those wonderful ladies. There were a lot of chocolate chip cookies being clumsily churned out by children that day, but not my group. My mom decided to bring in the big guns, literally. She had us make her mom’s butter cookie recipe and we used what I have affectionately named the “cookie gun.”

Okay, so it’s actually a cookie press, but the point is that it shoots out perfect cookies with the pull of a trigger. A cookie gun! It’s brilliant. But not only is the cookie gun brilliant, but the recipe. Butter cookies are pretty standard fare, and usually not that extraordinary. But when you crank out several dozen of the bite-sized-melt-in-your-mouth-cookies, you’ll feel the magic. This recipe references my first rule of thumb: few and simple ingredients. It’s actually my Nana’s recipe, and has thankfully been passed down to me (and the paper may or may not smell like vanilla). But I wanted to officially immortalize it and share it so that you guys can enjoy these cookies that are beyond delicious and easy to make.

I will warn you though, they are deadly. I mean, you can snack on them like they’re popcorn; and let’s just say that they’re not quite as healthy a snack. Because this handwriting is a little rough and the directions aren’t really user-friendly, I have translated them for you:

Ingredients:

• 1 pound of butter (softened)
• 1 cup of white/granulated sugar
• 1 egg
• 2 egg yolks
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
• 4 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

Steps:

1. Cream the butter until it’s nice and fluffy.
2. Add in the sugar and beat until combined.
3. Beat in the vanilla and the eggs.
4. Slowly add the flour. You may have to stop your mixer and scoop the sides with a spatula.

This dough should be thick, and it actually isn’t very good tasting cookie dough. Lightly grease your cookie sheets and preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Then load your cookie press according to its instructions and shoot them out onto the pan! It may take a little practice to get the motions just right, but no sweat, any cookie dough shapes that don’t come out right can just go back in the press. When you filled up the pan (you can these things won’t grow much), bake them for 8 to 10 minutes. Then you can eat as is, package them as gifts, or dip them in chocolate (I usually like to add chocolate, yum).

 

A 14 Layer Torte That’s Better the Next Day

One of the most precious cookbooks that I own is the Good Housekeeping’s Illustrated Cookbook from 1980. My mom, my nana, my aunt, my great aunt, and I all have copies and are always on the lookout for more. It is a reliable book for all kinds of recipes, and has some things that I absolutely adore. One of those recipes is the Chocolate-Cinnamon Torte.

This torte is like nothing you’ve ever had before, and is fantastically delicious. The combination of chocolate and cinnamon is pretty unusual, and one of my favorites. This torte is made by stacking 14 giant thin cinnamon cookies with chocolate whipped cream; and tastes better after a day or two in the fridge. It’s great if you’re planning to have people over, but don’t have time to bake a dessert fresh on the day that they’re coming. The recipe recommends to make it a day or two in advance, with good reason. The cookies will soften into the whipped cream and the consistency improves after the fridge time; but good luck waiting to eat it for that day.

You can see the full recipe and how to make it here. Another reason this book is great is that it’s illustrated as per the title, and does a great job of showing you some trickier techniques. So next time you don’t know what to bake, give this a try! It’s a quick and easy recipe that will not disappoint.